Okay, so yesterday was like any other day in my life... I went to work, was playfully rude to customers, chewed some gum, worked far longer then desired, and eventually found myself watching Back to the Future. But something unexpected reared its menacing head as i was habitually gazing blank-eyed at air molecules...
"Tis Christmastime," Something whispered.
Hearing voices in my head was odd but not wholly undocumented in my life, so I played it cool, which to me means huddling in the corner flogging my face with my fingernails. After my corporal punishment I brushed my face off and got back to work. But before my facial flagellation could even stop throbbing The Voice made an unwelcome revisitation.
"Two Days...two days......" The Voice whispered again.
Then it dawned on me. Oh its Christmas, pardon, TIS CHRISTMASTIME! This realization must have been brilliantly beaming from my eyes because everyone was looking at me as if in terror, or maybe the stares were from the still recent wounds left from my fingernail horsewhipping. Either way, the important part of this story was my new gained knowledge that Christmas was here. Wait, the important detail was actually the weird voice i heard in my head. What was this strange voice? Why did he speak to me? Beats me.
Okay... so I just checked my voice mail and everything is starting to makes some sense. I had 12 days of messages from some phantasm that went by the name "The Ghost of Christmastides That Simple-Minded Ninnies Have Forgotten" So, I called to tell him that his name needed some work.
Okay... so I just checked my voice mail and everything is starting to makes some sense. I had 12 days of messages from some phantasm that went by the name "The Ghost of Christmastides That Simple-Minded Ninnies Have Forgotten" So, I called to tell him that his name needed some work.
So, with all the loose ends mended, and no questions needing answered, this charming seasonal greeting comes to an end. Maybe Santie Claus will bring me what i truly desire these holidays...An expensive root canal! OH t'would bringeth me yuletide cheer!
Tis Christmastime, Tis Christmastime!
May its nearness bring you bliss.
And frighten off those Christmas ghosts,
to a seasonal abyss.
It may not be His birthday,
Just a pagan winterfest.
But to all those whom I'm grateful,
pray your merry days be blessed.
I think Eisenhower, or Einstein wrote that, or maybe it was Old Man Winter himself...Wilford Brimley.
