Eons and Bondage Still Won't Contain Me...

...but they will keep me from writing on this blog. To be honest, even stale Redvines would keep me from posting.



<----What a soda jerk!

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Okay, now for the SERIOUS stuff. This next important reflection is entitled...

The Grasshopper and The Ants.

So, Its now August and we are knee deep in Summer...well for us northern hemisphereites that is, and I for one am ready for it to be done. "Why is that?" you ask. Well I'll tell you my good people, the plants are getting smug.

Now I don't mean the hard working, nose to the grindstone, perpetual Evergreens mind you. Or the frantic workings and careful planning of the seasonally sensational and dedicated Deciduous. No, I'm talking about those over-privileged, temperamental, prima donna grasses and flowers. They are so puffed-up on their own pompous existence, and it doesn't help that everyone loves to frolic around in them and empower their own self ennoblement. So I took out my own revenge. To paraphrase Johnny Cash,

I picked some flowers a week ago, just to watch them die.

Ahhh, the sight of a fading flower, it just fills me with Autumn and smiles seeing them wilt and wither before their time.

But I shouldn't be so happy with being so morose, so lets watch this Disney cartoon that has a happy ending for these types whom believe that the world owes them a living.



There, perhaps you feel better, but more importantly I DO. Okay, Next topic title will be,

Why Did Dinosaurs Die Off?
Because Their Eggs Stinked.

I hated that joke, but it killed my buddy Trex.

I went to Dinosaur National Monument just a few bits ago and once I got there I found out that the actual monument was mostly closed due to construction, the old one apparently having "structural concerns." I wanted to be furious, so I was. My majesty turned to tragedy... but then I remembered that dinosaurs went through much worse, but then I also remembered that I didn't care about dino suffering, I just wanted to look at their dry skeletal corpses anyway. So in frustration, I just went and found Anasazi Fremont rock art of Darth Vader instead.

Who knew Anasazi were so Anasnerdi!? I did, a long time ago in a galaxy right here! That's who!

Now my poem for the dinosaurs. Ahem...

Dinosaurs, you dusty bones!
You would have lived, had you had the stones.
Instead you gelded princes roam no more....
and I myself could have the blues,
but then my manhood I could lose,
for crying for the pansy dinosaur.

Sure, some may gasp at my remark,
it's probably they who closed the park,
to build a eunuch palace for their lords....
They didn't die from comets power,
they died because they'd only cower,
they skittered off and sheathed their phallic swords.

Take that you lily livered, world castaways! If you got a problem with it come get me! They won't, Dinosaurs are just a bunch of yellow bellied pushovers.

I'm being harsh, I just want them to get their machismo back. Much love Trex!
....and now for the finale!

Closing Remarks.


I put a lot of pictures in this post because i was too apathetic and lazy to actually preach my word to my committed audience. Maybe you haven't earned my full or even partial interest. But just like how faeries come to life when you clap your hands, I come to life when you give me your credit card and checking account information. Lets see who the faithful truly are.

Ta.